Or in all honesty, just one more blog that revolves around Second Life.
I came back to SL (as any inhabitant would refer to this virtual world) after quite a long break, a few years – how many I don’t know. (I investigated and, with some precious and unexpected help I could find that my first day ever in SL was the 8th of February 2011. In spite of my best efforts, there is no way to find when was the last day the ”cutie pie” in the image below logged in.) I didn’t cut all the ties. I kept getting news through their Facebook page. Glancing at the pictures once in a while got me in the end. The longing became unbearable and I had to come back. It wasn’t easy, as I left by – what I thought at the time would burn bridges – a complete deletion of my account. So I had to start again, from scratch. I couldn’t even get my old name back. Apparently was taken, although there is no one in-world with that (very unique) name. For the better! I started afresh.
Or so I thought. (My mind is wired to find patterns. I easily recognise recurrences and repetitions. My school years spent in front of literature books, mainly, educated me to try to find symbols and meanings in anything and everything, which I know is a bit too much, but I do think that myths and religion were the way of humanity to cope with the cold and sombre reality. Humans needed a refuge and the trees weren’t readily available anymore after they lost their furry tails. This is why it shouldn’t be a surprise that I thought that meeting a wonderful lady in the first night would be just like before.) In my first Second Life (how does that sound!? – I know!) I met the one that I would call my SL godmother late at night, on the newbie sim – I cannot recall its name, even though I spent some time there – just after I found out how to move around and my first attempt to ”customise” my shape with horrendous results. (After all this time, of course, it seems like a daredevil move, but the gamer in me wanted my ”character” to be unique. Yes, yes, this is not a game, I can hear you. But I was a noob, like you were, in your day 1, remember? I treated SL as any other game and I would always want to have a character that reflects more than anything my personality, that is as one of a kind as any human being is amongst the human beings.) I was so lucky to have her in there and like any other proper fairy godmother would do, she took me by the hand, guided me and was my friend for most of the time until she stopped logging in with that ALT (for some reason I am quite sure she had another one, but this is irrelevant to me. However her absence was the straw that broke the camel and the final reason for me to leave SL at the time.)
I came back so I don’t need a lot of guidance now, but I could use a friend. And I met her at the end of my first night back. Patterns, remember!? Man, she looked stunning! As someone said, SL may be considered a visual chat room so sometimes I fall into the trap of pixels. Well, many times, but I look for beauty in everything so I won’t hold this against me this time and please, neither do you. I couldn’t leave her alone; I had to express my astonishment in front of the work of art she turned her avatar into. I was in awe. I almost felt like hitting on her, which I dreaded because I was afraid that it may be misunderstood. I am aware that SL nation, SL citizens are less judgemental in the relationship department and so am I, but I am not in SL for ANY kind of romance. She was kind enough though and patient with the little fool and for a while, I thought that I had a godmother again. A new godmother for a second Second Life. Or is this the Third Life now? It was not to be, as these guys sing. In this world of avatars and ALTs, doubt and distrust are commonplace. I was hurt by the fact that she didn’t believe me, but I can only imagine how hurt must she have felt if she believed that I was someone else. I can only hope that one day she finds the truth, not to put back the broken pieces, which is impossible ( a broken cup will forever keep the marks, no matter what glue you use), but for her peace of mind and for her trust in humanity.
I have to thank her, though. Her mistrust set me free. I would have spent all the time I could in her presence. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met and she knows some of the most fabulous places in SL. It is absolutely fascinating to follow her and talk to her (after a while I kind of got used to her avatar so I stopped staring like a fool) and I began talking to her like a normal person – more or less. I will miss our chats more than I can express in words, but she left me with two gifts. First is my name. My display name. I love the meaning of my username, but it isn’t ”human enough”. (I wonder what is ”human enough” nowadays, after hearing names like River Rocket, Seargeoh or the very ”down to earth” Apple. But this is another topic for another day.) I was considering Meimei. I do not even remember when or why Summer Storm came into the picture. But I was convinced that it was a nice fit. I like the meaning behind it and I am happy to carry it from now on. The second gift she left me with is photography. She wanted to humour me, I think, and she took a snapshot of me. I was surprised by the way it looked. Well, I didn’t remember Firestorm to have filters for snapshots so I wasn’t expecting to see a picture in sepia. She explained how it worked and all of sudden it brought back my itchy finger that kept touching the snapshot button all the time. Not long before I left I even took some SL photography classes. I would probably cringe if I saw those pictures again, I am sure. If only I didn’t lose them with my old computer! Or should I consider myself lucky? But those classes and the explanations came in handy, as I wanted to capture that moment and that mysterious look she had that day. It was my first photo.
It’s been almost a month since that day and not much longer since I came back to SL. I know better than ever why I came back to SL. I came back for its beauty, for its infinite freedom of expression as an artist (well, a wannabe artist) and for the story that awaits to be written by me. Because nobody else can write this story. It is my journey, my story. And I will write it here. It is a fairy tale because it has dragons, witches, elves and all kind of mystical creatures. You can meet them everywhere in SL. But they are not evil. The true evil is represented by the demons within each human (or dragon, witch, elf or whatever creature may be in SL) that he or she himself/ herself has to fight.
I would never have thought that it would come a day to say that I am happy that one of my dearest RL friends didn’t like SL She was my Watson and helped me find the proof of my former existence. The old account cannot be located by a simple search, but apparently remains in the friend list if it was not deleted. Too many technicalities that I couldn’t care for less. I am just happy that I could find some information and this weird-looking picture. Mesh was the IT thing back then, brand new and quite complicated to use from my point of view – and others’ – and I kind of hated it.